Confessions of a Network Marketer’s Spouse – Are You Cheating On Your Spouse With MLM?
Let’s talk about something that seems to be very common in the network marketing industry but rarely gets talked about.
Are you cheating on your spouse with network marketing?
Network Marketing can put a lot of stress and strain on a marriage. It can be the root of much resentment and unspoken tension, sometimes leading to the ultimate demise of a relationship. Here are a few personal tips and suggestions on how to grow a successful network marketing business while maintaining the integrity of your marriage and family!
Here is an actual note my husband wrote me three months into me joining my new company.
Since you’ve started your new business I feel like you have divorced me and married your network marketing business.
We don’t spend time together, you’re always gone and when you are here you are on the phone, having a showcase, or on the internet. I feel like you’ve left me all alone, and it’s not fun being around you because all you talk about is your business. If you put as much time and effort into me and your marriage as you put into your business I’d be the happiest man in the world.
Though I may not understand the industry or how much time and effort it takes to make it, I do know that it is ruining our marriage and our friendship and somethings got to change. Please stop putting me on the back-burner and remember that I am your first love.
Your neglected husband!
As network marketers, we may be ruining our relationships with our wives, husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends or significant others and not even realize it. When I first read his letter I was like “What the hell are you talking about this is my job, I’m trying to make money for our family so we (me and you) can have the flexibility to do whatever we want whenever we want. And you’re complaining? – you did have a problem when I was working 50+ hours a week as my corporate job. So where is all of this coming from?”
After having a serious heart to heart with my hubby, I realized that though I thought I was doing something good for our family I was neglecting what made us happy as husband and wife and as best friends.
Where is the tension coming from?
What I saw as tireless passion and focused determination to learn my business and build a successful empire he saw as obsessed craziness. I became that spouse that you had to beg to come to bed, had to pry away from the computer or bribe to get to do anything that was not related to building my business.
It’s not that I wanted to spend more time on my computer researching and reading about what the top-earners where doing, trying to find the magic bullet that would take my business to the next level. It’ s not that I loved prospecting more than I loved talking to my husband. It’s not that I wanted to hang out with my customers or prospects instead of having date night and cuddling with the man I loved. I was doing what I was doing because I was Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired and MLM was my way to get to where I wanted my family to be. MLM would set us FREE!
So with my husband’s sentiments heard, it was time to have a heart to heart and in an effort to communicate and resolve our “issues,” here are some suggestions which I recommend you implement immediately if you want to get your marriage back on the love train.
1. Be in Agreement – You and your spouse need to be on the same page as to your reasons for enrolling and the vision you have for your company and your family. Determining with your spouse a common vision for what you want to accomplish and being in total agreement about the direction you want to go as a family is of utmost importance. Enrolling against your spouse’s knowledge is an absolute no-no and comes off as selfish and inconsiderate. If your spouse is not supportive then you may be fighting an uphill battle making it hard for you to succeed. Give your spouse a clear understanding about why you enrolled so that they have the complete story and all the facts in order to make a proper and justified decision in their support of your business.
2. Create a Time for Business and A Time for Family – There should always be a clear-cut schedule laid out for business time and for family time. Determine together blocks of time that are appropriate for work related activities and blocks of time for family activities, romance, church, so on and so forth. Once you’ve agreed to the schedule, stick to it and if there needs to be an adjustment discuss it and get the approval of your spouse first before committing to doing something that was not in line with the schedule so their are no surprises. Nothing is more important than your family, not your business, not your sponsor or upline, not a showcase, nothing! Learn to say “no” or “I’m not available at that time can, can we reschedule?” Make sure to turn off your phone during family-time as well, it won’t kill you if you a call goes to voicemail. I promise!
3. Set “Office-Time” – No one needs to be recruiting, prospecting, doing meetings, or sitting in front of the computer all hours of the day and night. Again, be in agreement about how many hours a week are acceptable for you to devote to your business.
4. Prioritize Your Day – Know the night before what you have to accomplish for the next day. It will help you focus on what’s important and you will efficiently and productively move through your tasks. Establish a marketing plan and a routine, outlining your activities, so that you are not mindlessly working all day, coming to find that you really didn’t accomplish much because you were unorganized and not focused. If you have a set time for making calls, prospecting, training, personal development, etc, etc. marked in your calendar, you’ll find your day will run much smoother and you won’t be frazzled at the end of the day or better yet when family time comes around.
5. Communicate your failures and your successes – Many times, the best ideas come from our spouses. Whether or not they are totally on board, share with them your trials and triumphs. Communicating with them lets them know you care about what they think and value their opinions and suggestions. By including your spouse in your business, not only will they get a better understanding of the industry, they will start to realize how hard and committed you are to making it successful.
Do all you can to have your spouse in your corner. Hopefully these simple suggestions will help you, your spouse and your business stay on one accord so not only will your financial freedom flourish but your marriage and family will as well!
What I didn’t share with you was my husbands P.S. in his letter. He said:
“Don’t ever give up on your dreams” You’re passion is what I love about you…just make sure you share it with me a little more often!
My husband is my best friend, and my ultimate supporter. So with that said, spouses, support the passions, visions and dreams of your mates and MLMers never forget your first love. Success is nothing is you don’t have anyone to share it with!